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Now my sons listen to me: pay attention to what I say,
Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her path.
Many are the victims she has brought down;
Her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.
I was saddened to hear the news about Carmelo Anthony, a seemingly good human being, the latest to be caught in an “other woman” scandal. Same thing with Mary J Blige and her husband. Generally speaking, certain men will always be helpless in the presence of a beautiful or younger woman. The warning from Proverbs above tells us that it’s been happening for a while if not since the beginning of time. It’s a fact.
But it’s not good. We’ve sort of celebrated it in our culture; written T.V. shows and books about it, but it’s no laughing matter. I come from a broken home and the affect on children is terrible.
And it’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous for a man to damage the relationship he has with his wife whom he “loves” and children just because he saw someone who had a smaller waist or longer, shinier hair or a bigger butt? It’s stupid to force children to grow up without their father just because someone’s bone and tissue is organized in a particular way (newsflash…boobs are just an abundance of fat cells) or they were born a few years prior to your wife or maybe she has a cuter nose? Stop for a second and think about the ridiculousness of that. We’re talking about risking it all for bone, skin and tissue.
It’s been my observation that when affairs happen, the men never (or rarely) end up with the mistress anyway. Families are broken, money is divided and all parties end up moving on. So, here’s a question… what’s the point? Not to mention when your wife leaves you, you have to part with your duckets. Your hard earned fortune. Maybe it’s just me, but very few things would be worth that.
I’m going to dive a little deeper here into the male psyche. For centuries, perhaps even the beginning of evolution, men have thirsted for power. In our current society power is not only evidenced by money, but dominance and influence as well. We’ve been conditioned to believe that people of power have influence and that influence allows them to have things…possessions. A man desiring a beautiful woman is just an extension of that twisted thought pattern. For him, it’s a symbol of power and influence…like a fancy sports car or a yacht. It’s the ego’s way of saying… “hey look at me, I’m better than you!” Men who have yet to fully embrace the true nature of their being and have yet to establish their spiritual identity will always have the need to “prove” their worth and value. Trophy women offer that proof and for many men serve as masks for insecurity. Men who are evolved and have transcended their egos have no need to flaunt their possessions to prove their worth and value. No need to show off their “things” to confirm to us they are influential and powerful. They just know it. Intrinsically. Look at some of your low key wealthy men who avoid the limelight; some are still married to their college sweethearts who aren’t all that fabulous looking. They’re rarely in the press. Instead of trying to prove to us they have influence, they use their quiet and real influence to serve humanity. Conversely, look at the unevolved ones, constantly in the press, constantly bragging about what they have or what they’ve done. And usually with a much younger, pretty wife that looks more like their daughter or granddaughter. They live totally ego-centered lives. We don’t have to look much further than our current politics to identify one of those men.
Women, when it comes to this, you’re not off the hook. It’s all fun and games when you’re 25 and you’re seducing married men, but what about when you’re 40 with a little bag here and a sag there? What happens when you’re happily married with children and you see YOUR husband staring at the 24- year old Starbucks clerk? What happens when she starts flirting with him? What happens if he takes the bait? Sleeping with another woman’s husband violates the Sisterhood. If you’re in a situation like this right now, I implore you to begin your spiritual journey. When people are whole, they have no desire to hurt other human beings. In fact, the thought becomes repulsive. Rise above the notion that you need a man to take care of you or buy you things (most side pieces won’t be bothered if you don’t pay to play). Rise above the human flaw that tells you that material things will make you happy and you must trick a man to have them. Real happiness is doing work you love and offering your gifts to humanity. Real happiness comes when we are benevolent and honoring all human life. Love and respect your sisters by not doing anything that would cause harm to them. Google the Law of Karma. Know how the universe works and be cautious of what you’re putting out, knowing it will be returned to you. And if he has children, they grow up with the scars of what you’ve participated in. Think of the wife as well. Heartbreak is one of the worst pains in the world. If you’ve experienced it before, could you be that selfish and want to do it to someone else?
Bottom line, people, is this… do good. Be a good human being. Evolve spiritually. Know that a false sense of power will never bring you true happiness, neither will material things. Men do the work that will bring you true confidence, and women, know that you have the power to pay your own rent and buy your own things. You don’t need a man to do it.
Here is a quick introduction to the Law of Karma. I highly recommend getting to know this law.
To your journey,
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