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Got your attention. Good. This has nothing to do with the movie. By matrix I’m referring to your own individual matrix. which is quite possibly your barrier to success.

Well, Tonya… what do you mean?

Have you looked at other people and wondered why they were so successful? Have you been trying and trying and it seems like nothing is working? Do you have a tendency to lose more than you gain?

By the individual matrix, I mean the blue print for your life. It’s way too complicated to cover everything here, but I wanted to at least introduce you to the concept. Perhaps this blog might help you discover what’s been missing.

We are all born with a certain personality type. Some of us are healers (yours truly), some of us are teachers, servers etc. Some of us are more action oriented doers. Some of us have skills in art and literature, another might be gifted at comedy, and still another is gifted at fixing things or math. Bottom line is this… we all have an individual blue print and part of that blue print includes things we are gifted at and it’s imperative that we know. Each personality type also has inherent strengths and weaknesses. It behooves us to know who we are to such a great extent that we line any endeavor we undertake with our personality. Anything else invites failure. For example, you discover that you don’t like to be confined in an office working on a computer all day without public contact… why did you accept a job crunching numbers for a warehouse all day? You’d be better served by lining your gifts up (in this example we’ll say finance) with the other elements of your personality (in this example we’ll say people person). It seems like perhaps a financial planner might be a better fit. Same goes for your weaknesses. If you are sensitive to criticism, perhaps stand up comedian isn’t for you, unless you can grow beyond it. This is why it’s helpful to know your personality in-depth. You can see what’s there and either accept certain aspects or move beyond them if you choose to do so. There are many tools out there that can help you learn more about your personality. I recommend the Myers Briggs Personality Profile as a place to start (as a certified practitioner, I’m biased). Again, let it be a guide for your own process of self discovery.

Another component of the matrix is your family heredity. How were you conditioned as a child? What conscious or unconscious beliefs do you hold? Did you grow up hearing money doesn’t grow on trees? Or how about a rich man can no more enter the kingdom of heaven than a camel through the eye of a needle. If these or others like them are your family mottos, you may have some unconscious programming going on… a tape in the back of your mind that will limit your future success. Google it. It’s not my intention to go into great detail on this particular blog. I just want to introduce you to the concept. Another part of family heredity is the type of examples you were shown. Children tend to emulate what they are shown vs. what they are told, so if your mom told you you could be anything you wanted but you witnessed her as a housewife and your father off and on employed, you may have some conditioning going on. This is not the case for everyone, but if you’re having trouble moving up the abundance scale, it might be something to consider.

We also have race conditioning. And by race conditioning, I mean the purveying belief of the human race. The one that comes to mind is ‘ a woman must stay home with her children.’ It takes a lot of effort to step out of the conditioning and decide I can be successful and still be a good mother. Same could be true for minorities being heads of companies. Race conditioning tells us that historically this hasn’t been the case. Thank God these falsities are changing. A person can achieve whatever they set their mind to do. Search your mind and heart and make sure you haven’t limited what’s possible for you based on what others have said.

Then we have desire and passion. What is it that you really want to do? Passion and desire to see a thing fulfilled creates positive momentum which activates the Law of Attraction. Forward momentum is a highly creative energy that tends to bring about success and abundance as opposed to feeling stuck and confused. Identify what it is you’re really passionate about and make it a part of your everyday experience.

Lastly, we’ll discuss your habits. Are you just wishing everyday for abundance or do you have a definite plan or goal? If you would like to own your own business, have you started thinking about how you will start one… better yet, committed it to paper. If you don’t have a definite goal with a detailed plan, it’s just a wish. Outline what it is you’re going to do, i.e. get promoted, start writing a book, start a business etc. Figure out what you need to do step by step, assign dates and commit to it. If you don’t have a definite plan more than likely, you won’t take action.

Experience is also a part of the matrix. How good are you at what you do? Your gift must be nurtured. Commit to developing the necessary skills to be the very best that you can be at whatever it is you’re trying to do.

All these things add up to make or break your success. In summary:

Get to know yourself — innate gifts and skills, strengths and weakness, and personal preferences. Make sure every endeavor lines up with who you are at the very core of your being.

Live your passion. Find what gets your juices flowing.

Overcome limiting beliefs and thought patterns.

Set goals for yourself.  Commit to small habits everyday that move you closer.

Master your craft. Do it again and again, and learn all that you can to become the best that you can be.

And finally, be committed. You’ve done the work… now… burn your boats. There’s no turning back. Those who have a heart to succeed will. Persistence pays. Patience rewards.

While other things might be a part of your matrix that warrant recognition, these are some of the major points. I wish you much success on your future endeavors.

To Your Journey,


Tonya Lampley is a fiction author and Certified Life Coach. She is passionate about living life to the fullest and uses skills learned from her work as a coach as well as lessons from her own journey to write articles providing tips for successful living and to tell stories of hope and personal triumph. Her debut novel was titled A Taste of Love and was a National Indie Excellence Awards finalist. Her short story titled Birthday Surprise received honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest Short Story Contest. For more information about Tonya and her works please visit www.TonyaLampley.com.

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