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Women… never in a time in history have we had the opportunities that we have. Never a time in history have we been as powerful. Let’s face it… women are amazing. We work, own and run companies, while simultaneously nurturing children and taking care of families. When I look around at my sisters and all they are accomplishing, I feel so proud.

A new model is dawning and patriarchal rule is crumbling. As it crumbles and as this new balance of power emerges there will be some growing pain. At the same time women are growing in power, men are feeling the shift.

As wives, sisters and daughters of men go out into the world and establish positions of power in this new model, it has left men feeling challenged. In many households the wife out earns the husband or imagine the alpha male who just got told his new boss is a woman.

We all know the issue with men and their egos. They are fragile. And women have spent many years coddling and catering to them because of this very fact.

So what happens during this forced shift?

Some men will just suck it up and move on. They won’t like it, but they will make their peace with it. It won’t interfere with their day to day lives very much. Other men, we’ll call them the evolved ones, will become champions for not only the women in their life but for the women in the world, recognizing them for all the incredible gifts they have to offer and will thrive in this new model, welcoming women into their spaces and enjoying the process of co-creating with them. I want to take just a moment to publicly acknowledge and thank these men for all they do to embrace and help usher in the change.

And then there are the others…

Those who will out and out rebel. The men who will continue to jockey for power in their homes. Oppress their wives and daughters instead of challenging them to grow. Daily, women all across the world still live under the cloud of this dark, patriarchal mindset. In some Middle Eastern countries women can’t leave the house without male approval. In more evolved countries where the male ego can’t be fed by the out and out oppression of women, such as the United States, the male ego is fed by objectification, cheating and womanizing. While a man’s wife has a seat at the boardroom table, a position once only held by him and his male counterparts, he’s in bed with his mistress attempting to recapture his manhood and feel better about being ‘a man.’

I have advice for both men and women on navigating this changing landscape.

Men first:

Embrace the change. Resistance only ads to your discomfort about things. Accept that this is the new model. Embrace the fact that your wives and daughters now have incredible opportunities. Understand that a woman’s achievement is not threat to you. Soothe your ego by giving it something empowering to do. Take a stand for women and be a part of the movement to usher in change. Maximize your full potential and then reach back and help as many as you can irrespective of gender. Be a people builder, a talent releaser and start with your own family. Women are not the enemy. The enemy is your own fear.

And for women:

Have compassion for men as change is never easy, but at the same time know and own your own power. Help put an end to the patriarchal mindset by starting in your own home. Refuse to take part in any sort of oppression, even by those you love. Choose a mate who will honor you, cherish you and create a sacred environment that allows you to grow and be your best. And if you’ve chosen someone already and they don’t meet the standard you deserve, have the courage to leave. Honor yourself enough to know you deserve better. Accept that you’ve made a mistake, grow from it and send that person on their way in love, knowing that because you’ve demonstrated love and honor for yourself, a person who demonstrates the same will show up for you. Don’t be afraid of being alone. Don’t be afraid of what others will say. Know your own worth and value as a woman and only enter into a relationship with someone who equally knows and understands your worth and value as a woman. Teach your sons to respect and honor women as well.

The Dalai Lama said, “The world will be saved by the Western Woman.” The world needs all women, but we need them to be strong, focused and not distracted… not worrying about a man who’s sharing his bed with someone else, or sending pictures of his genitals to teenage girls, or gawking at the pretty waitress. Not worried if her latest promotion will send him into a competitive tailspin. Ladies, stop making excuses for them. Demand a partner that will help you fulfill your destiny. Be determined to shed anything that is keeping you from being your best. The world is facing big challenges and it needs you. It needs all and the best of you.


To Your Journey,


Tonya Lampley is a fiction author and Certified Life Coach. She is passionate about living life to the fullest and uses skills learned from her work as a coach as well as lessons from her own journey to write articles providing tips for successful living and to tell stories of hope and personal triumph. Her debut novel was titled A Taste of Love and was a National Indie Excellence Awards finalist. Her short story titled Birthday Surprise received honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest Short Story Contest. For more information about Tonya and her works please visit www.TonyaLampley.com.

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