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At the risk of being viewed in poor taste, I’m sharing the below link to a story about a woman on Instagram who’s taken a stand against no good men. Men have been demoralizing, degrading and disrespecting women for years and we’ve been putting up with it. It’s the dirty little secret of being a woman…lude comments, men trying to force themselves on you when you’re on a date, groping, cheating. For some reason we don’t take a strong enough stance against it…as if we somehow don’t deserve better. And many of us are incredible secret keepers. We never speak up about it, whether it’s date rape, or seeing a man that we know is in a relationship acting inappropriately, we never tell. We explain it away…she’ll get mad at me or he’ll just deny it or other excuses we offer to make us feel better about not standing up for our sister and in doing so standing up for ourselves. We’ve been complicit in letting men get away with this kind of behavior and it’s time to stop.

As more of us stand up for ourselves, know our worth and value, refuse to be disrespected, cheated on etc., men’s behavior will change. We need more slapped faces and more women who will refuse to date men who aren’t gentlemen.

I have a scene in my third novel Dirty (I’ve posted an excerpt below) where the main character does something similar to the woman on Instagram ( link is posted below). She refuses to keep the secret. She tells!

To set up the scene in the book, the main character Deidre has just spent the night with the man of her dreams at his home, only to have him tell her the next morning that he’s married. She’s devastated. His wife is away visiting her mother. He tells her that she needs to leave, and quickly, since his wife was on her way back to the house. After Deidre had given herself freely to him all night, he demanded that she leave and didn’t even walk her to the door.

Excerpt from Dirty by Tonya Lampley:

Today, she was finished. Finished with people treating her as if she was invisible, as if she had no feelings, as if she had no value. As soon as she heard him close the bathroom door, she grabbed the kitchen scissors. Her bare feet darted around the kitchen as she opened the frames of all the dirty10_16pictures, cut his wife’s head off and quickly slid them back into the frame. When she went out to the living room, sure enough, a huge wedding picture was on the fireplace mantel. She decapitated that one, as well as the one on the side table of the happy couple with their friends, and placed them back in their frames. All the pictures now had the wife’s face peculiarly missing.

She heard the water turning off. She grabbed her jeans and hurried toward the door, stopping in the foyer to slide them on, along with her shoes. A circular table sat in the middle of the foyer and she sat her pocketbook on it, next to a crystal vase of flowers. She couldn’t get her clothes on fast enough. When she went to grab her purse, she saw a stack of real estate business cards with his wife’s picture on them sitting next to the vase of flowers. She grabbed one of the cards. She’d let him spend a week in hell explaining the headless pictures, then, she’d send his wife a friendly email introducing herself. She picked her coat up off the floor, grabbed her shopping bags and left his apartment feeling satisfied. She’d even stolen his high priced shirt.


I hope the Instagram story or the scene in my book will inspire you to speak up and take a stand against any sort of devaluing of women, no matter how subtle. Refuse to keep the secret and demand that any man that has any sort of contact with you, honor you and treat you with respect. If you’d like to purchase a copy of Dirty, click here.

To your journey,


Tonya Lampley is a fiction author and Certified Life Coach. She writes about life, love and the journey and blogs on topics for living a successful life. Her debut novel was titled A Taste of Love and was a 2012 NIEA finalist. Her second book is titled Indiscretion and her third book is titled Dirty. All books are available on Amazon. For more information about Tonya and her works please visit www.TonyaLampley.com.