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I had a conversation with a friend the other day. She was going on and on about a particular situation. Her mood swung from anger to powerlessness to depression and back again. After she poured her heart out, she looked at me in anticipation of me supporting her distress and wanting me to help her come up with a way to remedy the situation. My response to her was:

Make peace with what is.

Do What? She said with a frown.

I repeated:

Make peace with what is.

Novel idea isn’t it. And not exactly easy to do. We’ve been conditioned to take action in every situation. To take control. But I’m learning that in some situations, especially ones involving other people, the best action to take  is to do nothing accept find your place of peace with things. I’m learning to very quickly assess the situation. If there’s nothing I can do about it, I surrender it as quickly as I can, refusing to let disturbing thoughts carry me off to a place I don’t need to go or at the very least, keep me from restful sleep at night.

I’ve discovered that the pain doesn’t come from the way things are. The pain comes from me wanting things to be different, and that I have complete control over. I can turn the issue over to God, I can bless you or the situation and I can move on. It’s my choice. No need for dramatic fits and fusses. I just take a deep breath and let it go. Problem solved.

I recommend this to anyone finding themselves wanting people or things to be different. Sometimes, it is what it is, and there really is nothing you can do. Find the strength to surrender to it in the moment. Don’t waste time fuming about it. Move your energy and attention over to things for which taking action will have a definite and beneficial outcome.

I explained to my friend that her worry and distress did absolutely nothing to affect the situation she was in and that the only thing she could control was the way she felt about it. She sat there stunned for a few seconds thinking about it. As the realization sank deeper, a smile crept across her face.

Let’s go get something to eat, she said.

After days of anguish, she started to see that she held the solution to her problem the entire time.

To Your Journey,


Tonya Lampley is a Cincinnati based fiction author. Her debut novel is titled A
Taste of Love
and is available at Barnes and Noble, Joseph Beth Booksellers
and Amazon.com. To learn more about Tonya and her works, please visit www.TonyaLampley.com.