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1-      I can’t be right all the time.

Never underestimate the psyche’s ability to only show you one side of the story.

2-      He’s not me and that’s a good thing.

It’s easy to forget but the difference is what makes the thing work. Opposites attract for a reason. It’s okay that he prefers a different route or folds the laundry a different way. Diversity is always good. Sameness can be boring. Who wants a clone?

3-      His intentions are always good.

When I’m looking at the gift in the box with a confused look on my face and saying you shouldn’t have…really and meaning it, I remind myself that his intentions are always good. He can’t pick the perfect gift every time and neither can I.

4-      It’s the same fight

The subject might be different but upon taking a closer look, the source of conflict is the same…power, respect, attention. Take your pick.

5-      The melding of two lives takes work.

We’re both on our own journeys. We’re not the same people we were in the beginning. Neither will we be at the end.

6-      He’s the perfect one for me.

Our habits can send each other through the roof, but marriage is the melding of two souls for the purpose of each person growing into the fullness of everything God has called us to be. The things that we don’t like about each other are the things that we as individuals need to work on. The other person becomes a catalyst for shedding anything that keeps us from being all that we are meant to be. Sucks, hunh?

7-      It’s the same fight.

8-      They know you better than you know your self.

If this were a military excursion, the war would be over and you’d be captured. Face it. They know your strengths and weakness. Your likes and dislikes. They’ve seen you at your absolute worst. But isn’t it comforting to have the reminder…if you eat that, you’ll pay later.  Sometimes, even we forget, but thank God, they never do.

9-      He’s a guy, I’m a girl. Period.

I’m never going to fully understand the way he thinks and he’ll never fully understand the way I do. The lens we look through is different. Mine is pink with rainbows and unicorns and his is more rough and tumble. If he looks at PMS through his, and I look at the football game through mine- it won’t look exactly the same.  Acceptance is key.

10-   It is one of my greatest classrooms.

I learn so much about myself and the world through being in this partnership. It challenges me daily to be better. It sustains me and nurtures me and provides a safe place for me to grow.

By the way…it really is the same fight.

To Your Journey,


Tonya Lampley is a Cincinnati based fiction author. Her debut novel is titled A
Taste of Love
and is available at Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com. To learn
more about Tonya and her works, please visit www.TonyaLampley.com.