When I was growing up, I would hear my grandmother and mother refer to a gentleman as a “piece of a man.”  For those of you who have not heard the term, a “piece” is a man who is not worth having.  In other words, he’s not a real, 100% man.  If a real man is what you’re looking for, he will only partially fit the bill.  He’s alive and male and that’s pretty much it.  Not worth your time.


I have been surprised at the amount of conversations I have had with women over the past few weeks that have centered on them or someone they know being tirelessly dedicated to a “piece of a man.”  Paying rent and car notes, buying clothes for men they aren’t even married to, being constantly ignored or disrespected, not being a priority in the man’s life, the list goes on.  And these women are "strung out" over these men.  Crying, can’t live without them, my life is over kind of stuff.  As Ocho Cinco would say…Child Please.


I don’t mean to be insensitive.  Love is a powerful emotion.  It can overwhelm you.  I just wish that women would be more careful about the men they choose to give that love to.   Love is one of the greatest gifts on this planet.  Why just waste it on anyone?    Find someone who is worthy of all you have to offer.  When a man loves a woman, you’ll get all his attention.   One of his soul purposes in life will be to make sure that you’re okay.  If you’re dishing out all the energy and he’s not returning the interest, it’s time to find the strength to move on.  Take all that love, turn it around and place it on yourself.  That’s a sure way to attract the kind of man you desire.  Start by loving yourself.  When you truly love yourself, you’ll start rejecting all the “zeros.”  In time, Mr. Right will show up at your door.  And trust me, he can’t wait to meet you and cherish and honor you and give you all the love and respect that a woman deserves— the tell- tale sign of a real, true, 100% man. 





Tonya Lampley

Life…one chapter at a time