Standing with my sisters…

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http://www.businessinsider.com/today-show-employee-details-alleged-secret-relationship-with-matt-lauer-2017-12

As Matt Laur’s newest acuser is being attacked for speaking up, mostly by women, I felt compelled to write about it. I don’t think the treatment is fair. This larger issue that we are all discussing is more about the devaluation of women. It’s not just in the workplace, it’s throughout the entire world. Girls are still being genitally mutilated in some countries. In some villages a man can sell his daughter in exchange for a cow. The question is of a women’s worth and value. The #metoo movement stems from women who are tired of being mistreated and devalued. Are our hands totally clean in this complicated issue? Probably not. But it still does not undermine the systemic de-humanization of women. That’s why they’re coming forward. That’s why she came forward. To support her sisters in a world where the woman is usually blamed or not believed. She came forward as a corroborative witness to his character so that we could decide for ourselves if the evidence is credible. The more people who come forward suggests there is some truth to the matter. She admitted her relationship was consensual and that she made a mistake. She was all of 24 and he was 40 so some assumptions can be made there, but I think her point was this…he enticed, coerced (not forced) her into a sexual relationship and once he got what he wanted he dismissed her. It’s a game lots of men play. As if women are sexual objects. As if we have no value or meaning other than to be used for sex. As if we have no feelings. No voice. I’m sure she was shocked and angry she consented after the fact…haven’t we all been, only to have him refuse her calls when she’s being stalked by the National Enquirer at 24 yrs old. She had hoped he would offer her some career advice or assistance with the press. He got what he wanted and then discarded her, treating her as if she was an object. As if her feelings didn’t matter. As if she had no ‘say so’ in the matter. I’m in no way defending what she did, I’m speaking to the larger issue of female degradation. This is about ending mistreatment. Let’s not turn on ourselves and attack the woman while we dismiss his behavior as that’s just what men do. He cheated on his wife multiple times and engaged in behavior that was a violation of his company’s policy and put his wife and family at risk. We shouldn’t judge at all but if we are going to judge, let’s judge both parties equally. Let’s remember to also extend grace equally.

To your journey,

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http://www.TonyaLampley.com

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Matt Lauer leaves today…

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This is a huge shakeup and while I am excited about all the changes our society is undergoing, I am deeply saddened by them. Revolution is never easy and as the veil is pulled back on all this clandestine activity, I am reminded of the human condition and subsequent human frailty. This is big…much bigger than we realize and while I’m glad there is an opportunity to have conversations about the treatment of women in the workplace, I know the conversations are incomplete. It isn’t just in the workplace. Women are devalued all around the world…sometimes even in their own homes. My hat’s off to the brilliant creatures who give birth, feed, clothe, check homework, clean house all the while holding down full time jobs and/or going to school. Oftentimes with very little support from their spouses. I’m filled with awe and admiration every time I see a mother. They give so much in what can sometimes be a thankless job; never garnering the respect they deserve for being the seed bearers of life on this planet. Never being recognized for their dedication and strength. Women are still servants to men throughout the world…dishonored, forced into prostitution, sold as property in arranged marriages, harems etc. And let’s not forget about the horror of genital mutilation still practiced in some parts of the world. To me, this conversation goes way beyond sexual harassment in the workplace, which is a very big deal and a great start. And I applaud all the corporations who are supporting the change by having a zero tolerance for such behavior, but I fear that in a few years, all this ‘story’ will die down and people will once again return to the habits and practices that are such a big part of our culture…money, sex and power. Sexual harassment, our thirst to be beautiful or powerful or to be valued more than someone else are just symptoms of our worship of those three false gods. If we really want change, we must shift our focus. Nothing wrong with money, nothing wrong with sex. It is the relentless pursuit of those things and the false belief that they will offer us something they can’t that is the problem. It is placing emphasis and value on something outside of ourselves more than recognizing the sacredness of our own human life that is the problem. It is not respecting the sacred spark that is in all human beings that is really the problem. And we can teach children that. Our generation is what it is. Progress will be slow but some change will ultimately come in our lifetime. But for the next generation we can wipe out sexual harassment not just by teaching them that it is wrong but by teaching them to value ALL human life and to start with their own. Love is the beginning of foundational change.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/nbc-news-fires-matt-lauer-alleged-inappropriate-sexual/story?id=51454652 

 

To learn more about Tonya Lampley, please visit http://www.TonyaLampley.com

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Ughh! It’s Sweetest Day…

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Ughh! My husband just handed me a gift and I realized I just forgot Sweetest Day!

I have a confession to make…I’m not very romantic.  Shocking isn’t it?  As a woman and since my debut novel, A Taste of Love is listed under the category of romance.

Me… Romance?  Not so much. I’m the person who runs out on February 13th at midnight looking for a 24 hour Wal-Mart in order to find the perfect, seemingly well thought- out, Valentine’s Day gift for my husband.  And that’s if I’m thinking ahead.  If not, I sneak it into the house on Valentine’s Day. Wipe the sweat off my face and casually leave it on the table as if I’d planned the whole thing. In busier times, I have even forgotten my husband’s birthday—it’s the same day as mine.

Maybe I’m not romantic in the everyday sense of the word, but I do believe there is something sacred about the bond between a man and a woman.  And, something so inherently beautiful about a man in love.  He’ll do anything to please the object of his affection.  Heroic in his efforts and sacrificial in his dedication.  It truly is a wonderful thing to witness.  Love is a part of who we are.  Even I, who, wouldn’t put rose petals on the bed for fear they would stain the sheets, would curl up in that same bed with a book; my pulse quickening when the hero and heroine meet for the first time, rapidly turning the pages to see what would happen between them and letting the answering machine pick up the phone.  Completely engulfed by the magic that is love.

Will every story I write be considered a true romance novel? No.  But I believe love is one of the most profound experiences we can have as human beings.  It is one of our deepest, most basic desires.   So I am sure you will find in each story I write, a man who loves a woman, sometimes even when she doesn’t love herself— and who is driven… destined…to have her.  And, I’m sure, on some level that makes me romantic.  Thank you very much.  I appreciate the compliment.

http://www.TonyaLampley.com

Life…one chapter at a time

 

Hope for a brighter future…

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We haven’t done the best job in getting people…starting when they are children…to understand their spiritual nature; their value and worthiness as a human being; teaching them to know their purpose and understand their relationship to and to have a respect for all of God’s creation. Instead we are conditioned from early on to ignore the spirit and focus on things that garner attention from others and that that’s what makes us worthy… the biggest house, the nicest car, best clothes, the prettiest girl, etc.  People feel certain “things” can make them worthy or unworthy and they begin to value or devalue themselves based on their standing in relation to others. Some will begin a relentless chase only to find themselves coming up empty because material things never satisfy. Some lash out in blame at an unfair world and move through life with a sense of rebellion, committing small and even much larger crimes against humanity like what we just witnessed in Las Vegas. Some carry their quiet desperation every day and live depressed lives. We need to do better and we need to start when children are small and it needs to move beyond once a week in Sunday School. This language of worthiness needs to be spoken in schools and in the home every day all day. “You are worthy by virtue of your birth and you have an important role to play in relation to everything that has been created by God. Respect all of God’s creation. Know what part you play and what your purpose is. Understand your spiritual nature. You are a being of love and light and anything is possible for you.”

Prayers to the people of Las Vegas, the victims and their families, and for our world.

Free until Midnight!

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Hurry… clock’s ticking. Free download until midnight.

On Sale…

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Update 7/8/2017: Still .99 for a limited time!

In keeping with the theme of liberation as celebrated on the 4th of July, my book Dirty will be on sale for .99 through July 4th. It is a story of a woman’s journey to break free from the internal ties that bind. Her journey to freedom begins with loving herself. It’s a fast, easy read, perfect for the holiday. I hope you walk away with revelation and the discovery of some internal truths.

Enjoy,

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Dear Reader…

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There are a myriad of talented authors out there, many who write better than I do, but I invite you to explore the stories that I write which examine the complexity and beauty of the human experience and depict the power of human potential. It is my personal goal to raise awareness about human consciousness, about the power of self-awareness, about the ability to make right choices. My goal for writing these stories is to show what’s possible when we begin to align with who we truly are.

Typically, there are no highly erotic scenes in my books. No explicit language. But what people will find is a person on a journey to their highest and best self. It is a journey that we all should be on. Unfortunately, many people are traveling through life unaware; not knowing why their life isn’t the way they’d like. They might be harming other people, filled with self- doubt, engaged in risky behaviors, or otherwise making bad choices—totally disconnected from God and the perfect beings they truly are. I hope my writing will not only entertain people; giving them a few minutes of escape from the stress of the world, but I hope that for some, my stories will serve as a gentle nudge, reminding them that their life is calling them forth, ready to be unveiled.

As a former Life Coach and one who has suffered my own failings and short comings, I understand the tragedy of an unfulfilled life. It was my story and it is a story so many of us are living. I want to draw people’s attention to that. I want to encourage others to uncover their purpose in life. I want to introduce them to the power of self- love and to deliver the message that the uneasiness they feel is desire, urging them on to a better life. My stories are my letters of encouragement. These characters are my examples. They find the courage to reinvent their lives.  “Will you join them?

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Easy Health Insurance

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I wanted to post a quickie health tip. In this age of cancer and degenerative diseases we could all use all the tips we can get… right?

I have a goal sheet. A list of goals for the year (proud to say I’ve checked several off already and I highly recommend this to you all if you don’t have one). I read them aloud once per day, typically in the mornings. It reminds me of what I’m focused on. One of my goals for 2017 was to commit to an alkaline diet and each day, I’m leaning more and more into it.

Briefly, an alkaline diet is one that consists of mainly fruits and vegetables. Why? Fruits and vegetables contain hoards of minerals; calcium, magnesium, potassium and phosphorus being the main ones. And these minerals alkalize the body’s tissues. The importance of these minerals cannot be understated.

Disease is rampant in our society. A new body of research is emerging that is telling us that cancer, arthritis, autoimmune diseases, Alzheimer’s and many more are caused by a degeneration of cells and what causes that degeneration is acid.

Our diets of soda, meat, carbs… chips, fries, pizza and very little vegetables contributes to the pH of our body’s system being acidic. Conversely, vegetables replenish mineral reserves and keep the cells in an alkaline environment. Experts say that cancer needs and acidic environment to survive. Why take chances? That pizza is not worth the risk. At the very least, if you’re going to eat it, have a salad with it!

You can purchase pH strips from your local health food store and do a baseline saliva check. If you haven’t been eating right, you’ll probably be acidic. I was. Once you’ve been eating more fruits and vegetables for a while, here comes the fun part… you’ll gradually see your pH levels move toward alkalinity! It’s fun to watch and for me, it’s good to know that I can check at any time and measure my susceptibility to disease. Even the common cold can’t survive in a body that is alkaline. That’s one of the reasons why our parents would drink bicarb or baking soda; it alkalizes the body quickly. But because of the sodium content, consistently using baking soda to alkalize the body’s tissues can be dangerous. Not to mention, your electrolytes need to stay in a delicate balance. Loading up on one without the others can cause more health problems. The solution is to get your minerals from fruits and vegetables which contain the full spectrum of electrolytes in the proper ratios.

If you’ve noticed any of the following: body odor, headaches, bleeding gums, mouth sores, stiffness and cracking bones, yellowing of teeth, brittle hair, acne, fibroids, do yourself a favor… start eating more vegetables and monitoring your pH levels. There are three pillars to a happy life… great relationships, health and work you love. Of the three, this one’s the easiest.

To your journey,

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See previous post: Calling all lightworkers

For those of you who read the previous post and think this might be you and want to start a blog, the below post offers some very helpful hints.

Enjoy!

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Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently. –Unknown Truth be told, success is something that everyone strives for. It just all depends on what success looks like to you. For many, it could mean stability, family, and love. While for others, it could mean an education, great […]

via Truth Be Told x 10. — ORCHIDS + SWEET TEA

Calling All Lightworkers

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 Calling All Lightworkers

It’s 2017 and darkness has covered the land. Personally, I believe the current, dark state of society is only temporary. I recall a similar period in the 80’s and 90’s of drugs, crime, racial tensions, corporate greed. Somewhere around the early 2000’s we transitioned out of it and I’m hoping we will see society make this same transition.

In the meantime, I’m calling all lightworkers. There are those of you out there who have a call on your life to uplift humanity. Who serve as beacons of hope to the hopeless, guides to the ones who are lost. Some of you are grounded in your faith and are prayer warriors. Some have the gift of being more hands on… pastors, healers and counselors. Some are writers. If this is you, now is your time. Figure out what you need to move out of the shadows and into the light. People are hurting and hurt people hurt other people.

 As lightworkers we come to remind others of the truth… that each one of us is God in human form. That we all have purpose and value and that each of us is loved beyond measure. If everyone understood that, they’d be filled with hope and love for themselves and their fellow man; never desiring to hurt anyone. They’d believe in their ability to serve humanity with their gifts; no need to rob or steal. They’d know the healing power of self- love and acceptance; eliminating the need for alcohol and drugs. Lightworkers come to tell the truth to a world who has forgotten and in some instances never known… be brilliant, be fierce, be loving, be kind, be God. 

If this message pierced you, you know who you are. Find your own little corner of the world and begin flowing your light. Blog, books, social media, prayer, healer, counselor, coach… contribute in any way you can. It all benefits.

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